The Golden One
by MoonlitFudge
Summary: Peter is always the Golden One in both worlds and Edmund is sick of it. I is very bad with summaries. WARNING: Self harm. Dont like, don't read


The Golden One

Edmund was always jealous of his older brother.

It was a thing he had ever since he was little. Peter was the "Golden One" of the family. He got all the attention, was seen as the perfect child, and got away with everything. While on the other hand, Edmund sadly never had that luxury. He'd always get in trouble, even when it wasn't his fault. He'd get into fights with other kids, only because they started it. His siblings wouldn't even help him. All they'd do is star at his with disappointment.

It got even worse when their dad left for the war. Edmund would lock himself in his room for days while Susan and Peter were playing happily with Lucy. Didn't they miss him? It felt as though they never noticed.

Everyday got worse for him. Peter would always insult him about how lazy and selfish he is, while Susan and his mother didn't do much as to look at him. He was only noticed when he was being a snob. Lucy was completely oblivious to this. She was too young to understand.

Then, they were sent to the Professor's house. That's where Lucy found the magical world in the wardrobe. Edmund met the White Witch, who seemed to understand him. All he wanted was attention. He never wanted to hurt his family. He suffered dearly for his mistake.

He then learned his lesson, but right before he nearly died. After he was stabbed, he was sure he was going to die. But then, he felt something sweet hit his mouth, and he didn't feel weak anymore. When he woke up, he saw his siblings crying. Even Peter. But wait, Peter never cried. Right?

After that, they were crowned the kings and queens of Narnia. Edmund finally felt as if he'd be noticed. He finally felt like the "Golden One." Or so he thought.

After a couple of weeks, things unfortunately went back to normal. Edmund was back to being ignored. This crushed him deeply. He had thought that becoming a king, he'd finally be noticed. But no one so much as said hello to the Just King. It was the Magnificent King who got all the attention. He was the one they all called a "hero." They never remembered the fact that Edmund nearly died saving their king. He was just known as a traitor.

It wasn't only Peter who got attention. The kings' two sisters got everything they wanted. Lucy was the youngest, so it was obvious everyone would be kind to her. She made many friends, who loved her with all their hearts. And with Susan, well, it's pretty obvious. Susan was seen as the most beautiful woman in all of Narnia. Day after day, suitors came from lands far, far away to ask for her hand in marriage. Peter was also presented with lovely ladies. He got everything he wanted.

And then there was Edmund. No one talked to him. Only when they wanted him to do something, or he did something bad. Not even Lucy looked up at him when he talked.

This was too hard for him. Watching his siblings having the best times of their lives while he suffered alone. The only time Edmund was seen happy was after he had found the tip of a broken sword. It was odd for everyone seeing him so happy.

 _"Finally,"_ he thought. _"Now I can continue my work."_

He kept the tip hidden under his pillow. He had been working on his masterpiece for over a year now. It started when his dad left. It was the only time he could feel happy. Every time he'd think of something bad, he'd add a cut his work. The biggest cut was from when he had a terrible nightmare about Jadis and Peter wasn't there to comfort him. But now he does have something to comfort him.

* * *

It had been three months since their arrival in Narnia. The Pevensies were happily eating breakfast while Lucy told everyone what she was planning to do for the day with Mr. Tumnus. Edmund sat at a corner, away from everyone. He was thinking of taking Philip out for a ride. Philip was the only being who actually enjoyed a conversation with his Just King. Edmund suddenly heard Peter calling his name.

"Hmm?"

"I was saying," Peter sighed, "today you're scheduled to practice your sword fighting with Orieus." He was looking at the envelopes in his hand the whole time.

"But-"Edmund was cut off.

"What?" Peter asked sharply." Did you have other plans?"

"Well actually, yes," Edmund replied nervously. "I was thinking of taking Philip out for a ride."

"Well then, you're just going to have to cancel that."

"But I can't! I've been practicing for the past two weeks, and I promised Philip a ride."

"I'm sure Philip can wait another day."

"Well, I can't!" Peter glared into Edmund's eyes and stood.

"Ed, this is not your choice to make." Now Edmund was standing.

"Why not?!" he shouted. "I'm just as much of a king as you are!" Peter went silent. "When was the last time I ever did or got what I wanted?"

"Edmund, just listen to him," Susan put her hand on Edmund's shoulder, who violently shook it off.

"Why should I? Why can't it ever be the other way for once?"

"Ed," Peter said.

"I just want something to go my way for once."

"Ed," Peter repeated, moving closer to his brother.

"But no, everything HAS to go your way."

"ED!" There was a sudden, sharp pain on Edmund's cheek. The slap's sound echoed, along with Susan's and Lucy's gasps. "That is ENOUGH!"

Edmund turned his face to look at the one who slapped him. "Now, go and think about what you just did."

Edmund couldn't bear to look at his older brother's straight face anymore and ran to his room. Tears were threatening to escape his eyes. He ran to his bed and grabbed his comfort object. He then raced to the nearest bathroom and slammed the door shut. He slid down the wall and began cutting. This time, he carved out words on both arms. It was slightly sloppy on his right arm, but it was readable. He then cut the uncut parts.

After a few cuts, his movements began to slow down. His eyes seemed to droop and he could no longer hold his arms up. A pool of blood began to form under him, making him realize he went too far this time. He faintly remember his name being called. He heard someone banging on the door. The last thing he heard was a scream and movement. Then, everything went black.

* * *

"Now go, and think about what you just did." With that, Edmund ran off. Susan turned to Peter with that same disappointed look.

"Well that was nicely handled," she says like always.

"Oh, shut up," Peter says. Why couldn't Edmund just follow orders as he's told? Why does he always argue about everything?

"Well," Susan's voice interrupted his thoughts. "What are you waiting for?"

"What?"

Susan sighed. "Go, after him."

"Again, what?"

"You're his older brother. You're supposed to make him feel better. Go after him while Lucy and I clean up."

Peter groaned, but he knew she was right. He raced to where he heard a door slam. Edmund was so stubborn, but he still was 10. Peter walked up to the bathroom near Edmund's room and knocked.

"Edmund? You okay?" There was no response.

"Oh come on, Ed! I know you're in there." Still no response. Peter was starting to get a little worried.

"Please open the door, Ed. I'm sorry. There, I said it. Now can you stop being so stubborn and come out now?" Still no response.

"I swear I'm gonna kill you," he murmurs, opening the door, which was surprisingly unlocked.

What Peter saw inside made him yell in fear. His baby brother was sitting up against the wall, barely holding himself up, in a pool of his own blood. His arms were covered in blood, his eyes barely open.

Peter shook out of the shock he was in and dropped down to his brother. He rolled the sleeves of his shirt down to cover his bloody arms. He then picked Edmund up in a bridal form and ran to the infirmary. Susan and Lucy saw Peter running through the castle with Edmund in his arms, blood dripping everywhere, and raced up to them.

"What happened?" Lucy yelled.

"I found him the bathroom like this," Peter replied, opening the door to the infirmary. The healers were already there, as if they were waiting for them.

"Lucy, I need you to get your cordial," Peter said frantically.

"There's no need," one of the healers said. "Do not waste such a gift on something small like this."

Peter wanted to protest and say it wasn't small at all, but chose it wouldn't be wise to waste their time. Instead, he went to go investigate in the bathroom to see what actually happened to Edmund. What he found wasn't very pleasing. He found the tip a broken sword caked with dry looked as though it had been used before in the past few days. _Just what did Edmund do with this?_

He cleaned the tip and pocketed it safely so it wouldn't jab him. He returned to the others just as the healer came out.

"High King Peter," he says.

"Y-yes?" Peter replies nervously.

"You might want to see this."

Peter stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Edmund in bed. His face was paler than usual. He looked as though he was asleep. Peter highly hoped that was the case. On either sides of the bed were Susan and Lucy. Susan was sitting silently, tears occasionally falling, while Lucy had stuffed her face in Edmund's blanket to keep herself from crying to loudly.

Peter hesitated, then ran the bed, instantly stroking Edmund's face. It was still warm. The fact alone made Peter smile. But the smile was quickly replaced with fear when he realized what Edmund had done. He wanted proof to prove his hypothesis wrong. But the proof to prove the opposite correct was right there inform of him. On both of Edmund's arms were cuts crisscrossing each other. In the middle were the words "NO ONE LOVES YOU" and "EVERYONE WOULD BE BETTER WITHOUT YOU."

This pierced through Peter's heart. His baby brother thought no one loved him. And it was all his fault. He made his only brother feel that way, making him do this to himself. That's why he felt like he never got what he wanted.

Peter then began to notice that he was crying. His hand covered his mouth to stop the sobs that were threatening to come out.

"High King Peter?" Peter turned his head towards the healer.

"There is good news." Peter lightened a little. "Your brother will survive, he just needs rest." Peter sighed in relief, silently thanking the healer. He turned back to his brother and started stroking his hair. He had decided not to leave his side until he had awoken.

* * *

It was now midnight. Susan and Lucy thought it was best to leave Peter alone with Edmund. Peter had decided to rest his head on Edmund's bed and go to sleep when suddenly, he heard a moan.

Peter looked up at Edmund, who was slowly opening his eyes. Edmund blinked a couple of times, taking everything in. After about a minute, he realized where he was. He looked at his arms, which were neatly wrapped in bandages. He then looked up, noticing Peter staring at him.

They stared at each other for what seemed like hours before Edmund broke off and brought his knees up to his chest, shielding his face. He was too afraid of what his older brother would think. _He'd probably be furious with me that I didn't finish the job._ But actually, it was quite the opposite.

Edmund was suddenly pulled in to a tight hug, to his surprise. Peter was freely crying, not giving a damn about anything but his baby brother at the moment. Peter was filled with joy. But that joy didn't last long.

"I, I don't understand," Edmund said.

"What?" Peter asked, confused.

"How could you hug me after what I just did? After the way I acted? Aren't you mad?"

"To be completely honest, I am a bit mad." This made Edmund look down. "But, above that I was scared. So terrified I would lose you again." Edmund's eyes widened in fear at the mention of his near death before. Peter noticed and brought Edmund into a closer embrace. Edmund's eyes began to fill with tears as he buried his head in Peter's chest.

"I'm sorry," Peter said, his voice cracked. "I am so sorry."

"For what?"

"For being a terrible older brother. For not being there for you when you needed me the most. I was too caught up in my own fame that I didn't notice my little brother suffering. I am terribly sorry." Edmund didn't know what to say. From the way Peter's voice sounded, Edmund could tell he too was crying.

"I realized this has been happening ever since dad left. Or maybe even before then. But I still didn't notice. I'm the reason you did this to yourself. I'm the reason you feel unwanted. I'm the reason you went to the White Witch in the first place. I'm the reason you nearly died, twice now."

"Peter, that wasn't your fault," Edmund objected. "I went to Jadis because of my own foolishness. I nearly died because I chose to disobey your orders. If I hadn't, you wouldn't be here."

"But what about all the other things? You didn't start cutting yourself because of your own foolishness, did you?"

Edmund sighed. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. But if it makes you feel any better, I forgive you," he said, smiling. Peter responded with a tighter squeeze.

"I'm never leaving you alone from now on, you hear me?" he says.

"Oh Aslan, please help me," Edmund jokes. Peter laughs along.

"Ed?"

"Yeah, Pete?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

 **And done! Sorry it was so long. I didn't want to make multiple chapters. Please tell me what you thought of this. It was my first Chronicles of Narnia fanfic. There will be more. More about Edmund feeling hurt because I like stuff like that. Yes, I know I'm demented.**

 **-Moonlit Fudge :P :D**


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